Consistently inconsistent

A topic I researched a few years ago about the English language. Enjoy.....

English is an amazing language. When you fall into the quicksand, you do not die immediately. It takes as long as 30 minutes for a person to be completely submerged. The boxing ring is square yet they called it a ring. Even more strange, a guinea pig is neither from New Guinea nor is it a pig but rodent or subject used in experiments. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, does it mean that humanitarians eat humans?

English is consistently inconsistent. Teachers taught us but Preachers preached not "praught". In the animal kingdom, whether it is one or a million, deer has no 's'. If cons is the opposite of pros, is Congress the opposite of Progress? Some words do not rhyme like shoes, goes and does. Neither is meal and real. Daughter and laughter. Or bother and brother. The list goes on.....

I like to share with you this story in the plane. A husband and wife were travelling on the plane. It was their first trip abroad. They were extremely excited. The husband is an Ah Beng and is not concerned about speaking good English. The wife on the other hand likes to correct the husband's language. Husband said "so we are going to pra-gue, I'm so excited!" the wife quickly corrected him and said "it's prague, not pra-gue." The husband couldn't be bothered. A flight stewardess walked past. The husband asked her for the menu. He looked at his menu. Chicken or pig's tongue. Ah, miss I think I'll have pig ton-gue. The wife, getting embarrassed, told the stewardess, "sorry, he meant pig's tongue." As usual, the husband remained indifferent. After dinner, the husband wanted something to read. He looked around and this girl holding on to the Vogue magazine. So he asked the stewardess "Do you have the Vo-gue magazine?" This wife, couldn't take it anymore. I told you "it's Vogue" the husband also couldn't stand the wife and retorted "What Prague, pig's tongue, vogue! I had enough of this. I'm not going to ARG with u anymore!"

In the English language, there is always a runner in us without physically having to run. Sometimes, you hear your friend running out of steam. Rival companies giving one another a run for their money. Someone is running for election. My income is running low these days. I'm running out of words to write. No, not yet.

Language is beautiful. "Now just close your eyes and listen to me. Imagine you are sitting on the beach. Watching the sunset. Feel the sea breeze. Listen to the sounds of the waves. Feel the sand in between your toes. On your right are coconut trees swaying. On your left you could sense the seagulls flying past. Smell the salt coming from the sea. Breathe in slowly. Exhale gently. All the tension. The stress. Blow it out. & now open your eyes." Feel good?

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. When I wind up my watch, I started it. But when I wind up this talk, I ended it. Allow me to end with this quote “Stick & stones break my bones, but words make me go in a corner, & cry for hours.”